10.0: Must be Radiohead
9.5-9.9: Great enough to play on your college radio set
9.0-9.4: Try playing this one on your guitar all night in your dorm room
8.5-8.9: The CD is pretty good but runs the risk of becoming mainstream
8.0-8.4: You should buy any green washed out retro t-shirts by this band
7.5-7.9: Good enough for maybe a sticker on your guitar case
7.0-7.4: Decent enough to talk about in the coffee shop
6.0-6.9: Needs more white guitarists with black-rimmed glasses
5.0-5.9: Might be good for a fratboy band, those neanderthals
4.0-4.9: Reviewer couldn't find any Cloves before writing and was angry
3.0-3.9: Too many unintelligent people might understand it
2.0-2.9: Curls up the ends of our bowl haircuts with shame
1.0-1.9: Did not cause a single tear to flow from our weepy eyes
0.0-0.9: That ain't Radiohead

(from Something Aweful)
PS - If this makes absolutely no sense to you, go visit Pitchfork yourself and poke around a bit. Committing the Hipster Handbook to memory isn't a bad idea either! Here's the definition for all of you laymen out there:

Hipster - One who possesses tastes, social attitudes, and opinions deemed cool by the cool. (Note: it is no longer recommended that one use the term "cool"; a Hipster would instead say "deck.") The Hipster walks among the masses in daily life but is not a part of them and shuns or reduces to kitsch anything held dear by the mainstream. A Hipster ideally possesses no more than 2% body fat.